We know that what we say is often interpreted differently by children than as intended so let's take "ban bossy" for a spin. If I'm a "bossy" girl, this statement tells me that I'm great and I have what it takes to lead. If I'm not "bossy", what message do I receive? Does it mean that I'm not a leader? After reviewing the site with my daughter and listening to her questions, it became clear to me that the message has to be expanded in order to be positively received by all girls. It's not just the "bossy" girls who have what it takes to lead.
The confidence gap starts early. Between elementary and high school, girls' self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys'
Bossy holds girls back. Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem “bossy.”
Girls get less air time in classrooms. They are called on less and interrupted more.
Alternative to "Bossy"
My daughter is a kind-hearted peacemaker. She was awarded her school's first Peacemaker's Award in 2012 for her brilliance in negotiating solutions between her classmates. She abhors conflict and making peace is a natural part of her personality. She's not "bossy" yet she is a leader. I tell her often that she'll win the Nobel Peace Prize someday. She smiles and takes it in...
I absolutely agree that girls must be encouraged to lead and I wouldn't have it any other way. However, I think it's important to ensure that girls are also shown different types of leadership models so that they don't flip the script and turn this positive campaign into a negative reflection of themselves.
Take the pledge to "ban bossy" but don't stop there!
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