icoreprinciples: #change

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Fear Is Fake News So Change The Channel From Fear To Courage In 5 Simple Steps

Fear is Fake News!!

Remember this... The broadcast of fear often blasts on all channels of our minds whenever it wants. The good news is that we can change the channel anytime by simply focusing on something else.

One of the greatest showstoppers in life is fear. Fear of the known. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of staying the same. Fear of (whatever). Most of the time fears are unfounded and are a waste of precious time.

So what does it take to change the channel? How can fears be managed or eliminated? When are fears important?

Fear Factors Into Our Survival

Human beings are equipped with everything we need to live, to grow, and to achieve all that we were built for. Fear is designed to keep us safe and to ensure that we are able to deliver our unique contributions.

Fear is broadcast across two of the most complex and powerful human systems - the body and the mind. When fear is on full blast we often experience discomfort as physical manifestations like sweatiness, anxiousness, hot flashes, rapid heartbeat, butterflies, fainting spells, confusion, or disorientation. These physical reactions tell us to fight or flee and it is up to us which way we decide to go on a moment's notice.

Our responses to fear developed in our primitive limbic system before we had an executive decision-making function in our brains. It is important for us to understand this fact as we learn how to reroute fear signals through our cognitive and sensory centers while leveraging our fear instincts to our advantage.

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It takes up to 400 milliseconds (ms) for the brain to process incoming information to the stage where it may become conscious. It takes a similar amount of time to prepare the body for action. So if we waited to be conscious of a sight or sound before starting to respond to it, our behavior would lag almost a second behind the events to which we are responding. By the time we leapt out of the path of a speeding car, it is likely to have run us over.

-Rita Carter, The Human Brain Book

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Change The Channel From Fear To Courage In 5 Simple Steps

Mastering the art of using fear to our advantage takes time. Primal fear responses often causes us to respond to uncomfortable situations as if we are in mortal danger when we may simply be preparing for a presentation or trying something new for the first time.

To change the channel from fear to courage, we need to understand the context of fear quickly. Here's how.

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Step 1: Identify Your Fears

What are you afraid of? Unless you are in real mortal danger, slow down and assess your fears to better understand why they are present. Fear helps us to prepare for the unfamiliar just as it alerts us to danger. The goal is to ensure that your fear response is used in the right context by understanding what your fear is telling you.

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Step 2 - Ask yourself "What's the worst that can happen?"

We already know that most time spent in fear is wasted time since most fears do not materialize. What's the worst that can happen? Review the possibilities and accept that the worst is not THE worst thing in the world. So what if you do not get what you want in the moment. Move on to the next thing. There are always plenty of other options to be explored.

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Step 3 - Prepare for the worst outcomes

Now that you know the worst possible outcomes, you are empowered to come up with alternatives before the worst can happen. This is where fear is quite useful - by helping us to prepare ahead of time. From here on it is lights - camera - action!!

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Step 4 - Practice for the best outcomes

With the worst outcomes in check, now it's time to practice for the best outcomes. Practice, practice, practice. What if you actually get what you want when you want it? Are you ready to receive it? Sometimes we paralyze ourselves with fear so much that we fail to prepare for positive outcomes. Get on the other side of fear as quickly as possible and stay there.

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Step 5 - Step into courage with confidence

Courage is acting in spite of fear. One of the best ways to make our fears disappear is to move towards them while taking action. Confidence is gained through repetition. Repeat Steps 1 through 4 until you feel courage with confidence. Conquering fear requires understanding your fears and putting them in check.

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There is a common saying that FEAR is "False Evidence Appearing Real." Remember this when fear starts to broadcast on your channels again. You have the power to change the channel from fear to courage anytime you choose.

Here's to your empowerment!!

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…until next time, count to 10 & make it count!!

Count To 10 and Make It Count!!

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Lillian Gregory is a passionate advocate for 21st Century Leadership with special focus on Women in Leadership, Women in Technology, and US Veterans and Spouses. She provides research, strategies, tools, workshops, and events to help close leadership and career strategy gaps. Download your eBook from The Institute for Human and Leadership Excellence and get ready to climb!

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#ChangeAmbassador #Leadership #FearIsFakeNews #FearFactors

Sunday, February 12, 2017

3 Ways To Deal With Undesirable Situations: Go Along, Get Along, or Get Out!

Wow! So this is what it's come down to?...

You're now faced with an undesirable situation that does not sit well with you and you have to determine the best way to move forward - and you know that standing still is not an option. How do you decide what to do?

Do you go along, get along, or get out?

Life has a way of teaching us even when we don't want to be taught. Undesirable situations are one of the best ways that life grows us up by throwing us curve balls. We can take the classes, learn the lessons, and move forward to the next grade level or we can hold ourselves back in summer school by not paying attention.

One of the best ways to advance is to learn from the wisdom and mistakes of others. Three lessons that I have learned about dealing with undesirable situations are revealed below.

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What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it.

If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

Don't complain.

-Dr. Maya Angelou, Poet, Actor, Civil Rights Activist (1928-2014)

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3 Ways To Deal With Undesirable Situations

Some situations are just not worth the fight and that list of situations is unique to a person depending on priorities and focus. Others situations are worth life and limb which may require every ounce of internal strength and massive support systems to resolve. Either way it's best to strategically pick your battles so you can win the war when the time comes.

Decide on the best course of action and move forward.

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No need to mention it again but changes are constant so it's important to have tools that help us to handle them quickly and with sound judgment.

When do you GO ALONG?

Undesirable situations may be as simple as a messed up haircut or as complex as an adjustment to routines and relationships. Changes in social status, work patterns, or connections may cause a slight twinge of discomfort. For simple changes, it may be best to "GO ALONG" to keep stress low and to keep it movin'. Minor shifts in normal patterns may be necessary, but the discomfort may not last long as new realities takes hold.

When do you GET ALONG?

Stepping it up a bit where situations in sensitive areas such as adjustments in family status or significant changes in role expectations may dramatically increase anxiety depending on the amount of control we feel like we have.

Adjustments to financial status, challenges within trusted relationships, or in work environments can make us reach for the alarm, but often these types of situations require reflection, deliberation, and planning in order to "GET ALONG" in the moment or long term. Major shifts to norms will likely be necessary as new relationships emerge and new environments take shape. Hang in there...

When do you GET OUT!?

Now step it up even more where changes create full-force threats to health and well-being and it's time to pull the ripcord and GET OUT!

Undesirable situations such as direct assaults on values, beliefs, and reputations, disruptions in time-tested truths, moral earthquakes that interfere with family relationships and business opportunities - or physical threats such as health scares or physical, emotional, spiritual crises - all require bottom up and top down crises resolution strategies. At this level, discomfort has become overwhelming and the way forward is - out.

Though it is critical to make decisions and take rapid steps towards safety when the platform is on fire, it is also important to keep calm and move forward in an orderly fashion so that you do not trip and fall. This is where your life-work integration strategy drills come in handy.

Do you have a life-work integration strategy?

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At the end of the day, take it all in stride and do the best you can with what you have - and then get some coaching to do even better next time. It takes a while to assimilate new ways of being so be patient with yourself.

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Researchers have found that it takes on average 66 days (~8 weeks) for people to create new habits - ranging from 18 to 254 days until new habits become 95% automatic

-Phillippa Lally et. al, European Journal of Social Psychology

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Undesirable situations come and go. Undesirable people come and go. Undesirable circumstances come and go. What remains is your ability to deal with undesirable changes, people, and circumstances as they come and go.

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Lillian Gregory is a passionate advocate for 21st Century Leadership with special focus on Women in Leadership, Women in Technology, and US Veterans and Spouses. She provides research, strategies, tools, workshops, and events to help close leadership and career strategy gaps. Download your eBook from The Institute for Human and Leadership Excellence and get ready to climb!

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