Do you think the rest of the title should say "...Like A Man"?
You'd be right if you were talking about Steve Harvey's book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. The book is a candid examination of male-female relationships and is a favorite to millions around the world including me. You'll have to read it yourself to get all of the juicy details.
The title and the concept are quite appropriate for Women in Leadership. Steve notes that there are 3 Ps for men in relationships: (1) profess, (2) provide, and (3) protect. I believe that there are 3 Ps for men in leadership as well: (1) pretend, (2) pursue, and (3) payoff.
This topic gets many of us riled up over the implication that we need to "be" like men in order to excel in leadership. I beg to differ. We don't need to "be" like men. The image of Katharine Hepburn dressed like a man carries home the point that there are ample female brains and tremendous savvy available to get the job - any job - done. In fact there's half a globe worth.
Since the gender imbalance is so severe in leadership, it's important to know what many men think about leadership and to leverage that awareness during our corporate climb or entrepreneurial pursuits or however it suits us. There's a bit of tongue-in-cheek word play swirling around in this article, but make no mistake this advice is serious business.
NOTE: I'm only listing male perspectives related to leadership that are helpful for women. The idea that it's OK to leave the toilet seat up isn't worth considering!
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To dispense with the scoffs and pushback on the insights provided, I've relied on the stellar wisdom of three incomparable male leaders to shine a light on ways to navigate and move forward in leadership.
- Pretend - Don't wait until you reach 100%!
- Pursue - If the rules don't work, then change them
- Payoff - Determine what's in it for you
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Pretend - Don't wait until you reach 100%!
Yesterday an article discussed differences between men and women's perspectives when pursuing roles. The author challenged the premise that women tend to wait until 100% of qualifications are met before pursuing an opportunity while men typically move forward with 60%, alluding to a lack of confidence for women. The reality as told by one thousand respondents didn't confirm the formerly reported lack of confidence. Rather the top reason for both men and women for not pursuing opportunities was the desire not to waste time due to lack of qualifications.The truth is somewhere in between confidence and pragmatism. In the end, a significant male perspective is to pretend, land the opportunity, and adjust along the way. The term pretend has been used in the best possible way, meaning to ignore limitations and move forward in spite of them.
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Part I: "Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information acquired."
Part II: "Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your gut."
American Statesman, Retired Four-Star General Colin Powell
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Pursue - If the rules don't work, then change themThe narrative of innovation shouldn't stop at technologies or products or companies, it also applies to moving forward in one's career and in life. If we're not innovating and leading our own lives, then who is? We can say that the game is rigged by culture, by history, and by personal limitations - and we'd be right. However, we have the ability to change the future collectively or one at a time.
As Sheryl Sandberg points out in Lean In, "First we must decide that true equality is overdue and will be achieved when more women rise to the top of every government and every industry. Then we must do the hard work of getting there." There's no rule that says you have to take a traditional route to the top of wherever it is you'd like to go. If the rules don't work for you, then change them.
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And as smart as she [Katherine Graham, Washington Post CEO] was, as high grade as she was, you know, as famous as she became, right to her dying day, you know, she had that little voice inside her that kept repeating what her mother had told her a long time ago [women weren’t as good as men in business].
So everybody should get a chance to live up to their potential. And women should not hold themselves back. And nobody should hold them back. And that’s my message."
Business Magnate, Entrepreneur, Investor, Philanthropist Warren Buffet
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At the core of all reasons for moving forward are the advantages that we receive personally. The primary driving force for men and women is typically different. As demonstrated by Bill and Melinda Gates during their TED talk, there are two strong sides to their whole effort of changing the world by giving away their wealth.
Bill's path is big data and analytics. Melinda's path is meeting with people on the ground and understanding their needs which she then uses to align with big data and analytics. Together they collaborate on solutions which often turn out to be different than either of them originally believed. Their payoff is changing the world. When it comes to your leadership journey, you have to determine what's in it for you and then move towards it.
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...You change systems. In the US we're trying to change the education system so it's just for everybody and it works for all students. That to me really changes the inequality balance. That's the most important.
Business Magnates, Entrepreneurs, Inventors, Philanthropists Bill and Melinda Gates
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Back to the question at hand
Should we Act Like a Lady, Think... or Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? Either way is fine with me as long as I'm pretending, pursuing, and getting the payoff that strengthens my leadership capabilities and contributions along the way.
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