Act Like A Lady? Who's Acting!

My dad would always say "act like a lady!" as I climbed trees like many kids my age were doing...

Of course I'd correct myself for the moment but when he wasn't looking I'd resume "acting" however I wanted. Most kids do this. Well I'm not a kid anymore yet I still enjoy climbing trees. These days those trees include motherhood, corporate ladders, entrepreneurial pursuits, and global causes.


After the robust conversation generated by Act Like A Lady, Think..., I decided to follow up with the stellar wisdom of several incomparable female leaders who continue to inspire me with their incredible strength and amazing "take-no-baloney" winning ways.


There's a fire inside of these women that burns in me - that burns in all of us. We just have to remember that it's there when faced with challenges. If they did it - whatever "it" was, then so can we! Forbes' The World's 100 Most Powerful Women - and countless others - have shattered barriers for all time. To them I say "Thank You!"

These First Ladies Are Simply Superb!

In her role as First Lady and mother, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis inspired me to reach up and grow long before our new First Lady came to the forefront. Both First Ladies and mothers display strength, elegance, and a sort of gentle defiance in their mannerisms.

First Lady Michelle Obama keeps me on my toes through the powerful implication that you must be prepared when opportunity knocks. Growing up on the south side of Chicago didn't predict where she would end up. Yet here she is - a beacon for women and girls everywhere. No acting required. These First Ladies are simply superb!

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One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals...

You can't make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen

  

First Lady Michelle Obama

 

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"Miracle Mary" Jones Lit the Fire Within

"Miracle Mary" Jones defied long odds when she arrived on the scene in Jacksonville, Florida, prepared to carry the Olympic Torch during the 2002 Winter Olympics relay. The theme that year was "Light The Fire Within." Three years earlier in November 1998, "Miracle Mary" had been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer and was given less than 6 months to live.


Fighting off near total paralysis and many other challenges spawned by the disease, she held the torch high over her head that day and lit the fire inside of all who watched in awe. Her family and supporters knew that they were witnessing a miracle. At the end of her relay segment, "Miracle Mary" passed the flame on to the next torchbearer. She had demonstrated that no obstacle - even death - is too large to overcome.

...Hospice came. Hospice left. "Miracle Mary" is still here!...

 

- Submission for Torchbearer Slot (May 2001)

 

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Dr. Mae Jemison Rocketed to Outer Space

 

Have you seen the List of Female Astronauts? Mae Jemison is definitely on it as an American first. She became the first African-American female to orbit earth in September 1992 on the Space Shuttle Endeavor. She is also a physician, engineer, educator, entrepreneur - and holds 9 - yes 9! - honorary doctorates in science, engineering, letters, and humanities. Mae inspires me to look up at the stars and continue to dream.


After completing her medical training, Dr. Jemison became a Peace Corp Medical Doctor and later worked with the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) studying vaccines. She applied to NASA in 1983, following Sally Ride's example as the first - and youngest - American female astronaut. After completing her trip to space, Mae left NASA to study "how social sciences interact with technologies." Today she focuses most of her attention on "The 100 Year Starship" project.

Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations. If you adopt their attitudes, then the possibility won't exist because you'll have already shut it out...

You can hear other people's wisdom, but you've got to re-evaluate the world for yourself

 

Dr. Mae Jemison

 

 

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Dr. Maya Angelou - Our Poet, Our Mentor, Our Friend

Dr. Maya Angelou's voice stirs me every time I hear it. She could be reading the phone book and I'd stop to listen. She was an amazing soul who came to teach us that no matter how you start out, it's how you end up that matters most. After being brutally attacked as a child and refusing to speak for many years afterwards, she went on to become the world-renowned author, poet, dancer, actress, and singer that we know and love.


Her credits cover more than 50 years of essays, books, autobiographies, plays, movies, and television shows. Her talents rewarded her with dozens of awards and over 50 honorary degrees. Talk about incomparable! I miss her presence here on earth, but I take comfort in the legacy that she left behind. That and - she reminds me of my mother.

Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently

 

Dr. Maya Angelou

 

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Picking up where I left off above...

 

...that next torchbearer was me. "Miracle Mary" Jones is my sister and she passed the Olympic flame to me. I strive to make her proud by carrying life's torch high above my head. She passed away in January 2004 and continues to inspire me every - single - day.

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As you've undoubtedly noticed, all of the exemplary women that I've spotlighted in this article are African-American except one. If you think for a second that this is because I don't have a diverse array of role models and mentors, you would be absolutely wrong.


My heart is overflowing right now with love and reverence for all of my mentors and teachers - of all hues, of all genders, in all industries, in all places around our globe. There just isn't enough space to claim them all so I'll have to simply say "Thank You!" Yet it doesn't seem like nearly enough...


Who inspires you to be better, stronger, faster, more fierce, more prepared? Add your comments below.

Act Like A Lady, Think...

Do you think the rest of the title should say "...Like A Man"?

 

You'd be right if you were talking about Steve Harvey's book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. The book is a candid examination of male-female relationships and is a favorite to millions around the world including me. You'll have to read it yourself to get all of the juicy details.

The title and the concept are quite appropriate for Women in Leadership. Steve notes that there are 3 Ps for men in relationships: (1) profess, (2) provide, and (3) protect. I believe that there are 3 Ps for men in leadership as well: (1) pretend, (2) pursue, and (3) payoff.

This topic gets many of us riled up over the implication that we need to "be" like men in order to excel in leadership. I beg to differ. We don't need to "be" like men. The image of Katharine Hepburn dressed like a man carries home the point that there are ample female brains and tremendous savvy available to get the job - any job - done. In fact there's half a globe worth.

Since the gender imbalance is so severe in leadership, it's important to know what many men think about leadership and to leverage that awareness during our corporate climb or entrepreneurial pursuits or however it suits us. There's a bit of tongue-in-cheek word play swirling around in this article, but make no mistake this advice is serious business.

NOTE: I'm only listing male perspectives related to leadership that are helpful for women. The idea that it's OK to leave the toilet seat up isn't worth considering!

 

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Women in Leadership - Call To Action

 

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Pretend, Pursue, Payoff

To dispense with the scoffs and pushback on the insights provided, I've relied on the stellar wisdom of three incomparable male leaders to shine a light on ways to navigate and move forward in leadership.

• Pretend - Don't wait until you reach 100%!
• Pursue - If the rules don't work, then change them
• Payoff - Determine what's in it for you

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Pretend - Don't wait until you reach 100%!

Yesterday an article discussed differences between men and women's perspectives when pursuing roles. The author challenged the premise that women tend to wait until 100% of qualifications are met before pursuing an opportunity while men typically move forward with 60%, alluding to a lack of confidence for women. The reality as told by one thousand respondents didn't confirm the formerly reported lack of confidence. Rather the top reason for both men and women for not pursuing opportunities was the desire not to waste time due to lack of qualifications.

The truth is somewhere in between confidence and pragmatism. In the end, a significant male perspective is to pretend, land the opportunity, and adjust along the way. The term pretend has been used in the best possible way, meaning to ignore limitations and move forward in spite of them.

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Part I: "Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information acquired."

Part II: "Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your gut."

 

American Statesman, Retired Four-Star General Colin Powell

 

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Pursue - If the rules don't work, then change them

The narrative of innovation shouldn't stop at technologies or products or companies, it also applies to moving forward in one's career and in life. If we're not innovating and leading our own lives, then who is? We can say that the game is rigged by culture, by history, and by personal limitations - and we'd be right. However, we have the ability to change the future collectively or one at a time.

As Sheryl Sandberg points out in Lean In, "First we must decide that true equality is overdue and will be achieved when more women rise to the top of every government and every industry. Then we must do the hard work of getting there." There's no rule that says you have to take a traditional route to the top of wherever it is you'd like to go. If the rules don't work for you, then change them.

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And as smart as she [Katherine Graham, Washington Post CEO] was, as high grade as she was, you know, as famous as she became, right to her dying day, you know, she had that little voice inside her that kept repeating what her mother had told her a long time ago [women weren’t as good as men in business].

 

So everybody should get a chance to live up to their potential. And women should not hold themselves back. And nobody should hold them back. And that’s my message."

 

Business Magnate, Entrepreneur, Investor, Philanthropist Warren Buffet

 

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Payoff - Determine what's in it for you

At the core of all reasons for moving forward are the advantages that we receive personally. The primary driving force for men and women is typically different. As demonstrated by Bill and Melinda Gates during their TED talk, there are two strong sides to their whole effort of changing the world by giving away their wealth.

Bill's path is big data and analytics. Melinda's path is meeting with people on the ground and understanding their needs which she then uses to align with big data and analytics. Together they collaborate on solutions which often turn out to be different than either of them originally believed. Their payoff is changing the world. When it comes to your leadership journey, you have to determine what's in it for you and then move towards it.

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...You change systems. In the US we're trying to change the education system so it's just for everybody and it works for all students. That to me really changes the inequality balance. That's the most important.

 

 

 

Business Magnates, Entrepreneurs, Inventors, Philanthropists Bill and Melinda Gates

 

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Back to the question at hand

Should we Act Like a Lady, Think... or Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? Either way is fine with me as long as I'm pretending, pursuing, and getting the payoff that strengthens my leadership capabilities and contributions along the way.

 

 

What do you think? Contribute to the conversation in the comments section.